November 17, 2012

Two Months

Nicknames: Little Miss, Patoot or Patootie, Little Toot, Sunshine, Lily Love

This month you had your first trip(s) to Massachusetts. You met everyone. Well, your aunts and uncle and cousins and great-grandmothers, and some 2nd cousins, great aunts, great uncles, and friends. You still have some extended family to meet, and you will meet them soon! They are all crazy about you. I don't blame them. You're so easy to love.

You witnessed your first hurricane, and your first snow. You loved staring at the snow. You slept through the hurricane.

You are now making eye contact and smiling at us when we talk to you. It is the best thing in the world.

You are so strong. You can push things (and people) away with your hands if you aren't interested, and you can stretch your little legs out and hold yourself up in standing position. You're totally lacking balance, as you should be, but I would not be surprised if you walk at 8 or 9 months. That makes me want to cry.

You have crazy beautiful eyelashes. 

You're wearing 0-3 clothes, and even some 3 month sleepers. The 3 month stuff is still a bit big for you, but not by much.

I had my first full day away from you. I missed you so much, but your Mimi loved that time with you.

We visited Grandma at work and all of her coworkers adored you. You are very charming.

You poop really loudly, and it's always hilarious.

You're now sleeping in your crib. Your first big step towards independence.

You are still breastfeeding like a champ. I love our time together feeding you. I am scared of when you start getting teeth.

You got your shots today. You were so brave, and you don't even know it. I was a wreck, but you had your cry and then were done. I had my first feeling of real pride for you.

You use pacifiers, but you also have taken to nomming on your hands, namely your right hand. Your Papa thinks you're going to be righthanded. Since your daddy and I are lefties, he says "two lefts make a right". We'll see!

You seem to hate tummy time, but we'll stick with it. You can hold your neck up on your own now, and can turn it side to side.

I keep seeing these awesome glimpses of your personality coming out. I can't wait until we can interact even more.

The jury's still out on what color your hair will be, but I'm pretty sure you're going to be a blue-eyed beauty.

We love you more and more every day. It seems impossible to be able to love someone more than we love you, but it just continues to grow and amaze us.

You are the best.

November 16, 2012


Growth opportunities. Milestones. You hear these words thrown around when you have a baby. Some parents track them meticulously. Some parents roll with the punches. I have started to wonder if these growth opportunities and milestones are more for the kids, or for us. I think it's 50-50.  

This was a big week for us. We decided to rip the Bandaid off and start putting her to bed in her crib. It sucked the first night. I missed her terribly. I watched the video monitor like it was my job, until finally fatigue won out and I got some sleep. It's amazing what 10 feet a wall and a door does to make her feel worlds away.

It's been three nights now. Each night gets easier...but I miss my girl. Those are hours of my day that she's now away from me. I know she's not far. I know. But there's now a divide that wasn't there before. It's one of those "cutting the cord" milestones. Maybe because I couldn't see the actual cord cut when she was born, it's strange going through this. I want to keep certain cords in tact, but the world tells me I can't. There are cords that must be cut so that she can grow. So I can grow.

So now she sleep in her room. It's really her room now. Her space. No longer "the nursery". Lily's room.

There is more sweetness in the time we have together now. My favorite? When she wakes up, and I get to go in her room and see her tiny fists stretching above her head, and she rubs her eyes and lets a yawn escape her perfect little mouth. And she smiles. And we change her diaper and sing songs, and then I bring her into my room and feed her and have a cuddle and a snooze together.

The best. 

Catching Up

Oye...I think I have to accept that I will not be catching up on all 484 items in my Google Reader. Holy smokes, the things I have forgotten about lately...I blame this face.

Lily and I had a little weekend getaway this past weekend to Massachusetts. I had a wedding to shoot on Saturday. It was incredibly hard to leave her behind for 8 hours, but once I got where I was going and started shooting, I was good. It helps to have been doing something I really love. She had a wonderful day with her Mimi (Sean's mom) singing songs, playing, sleeping, and eating. I came home completely worn out and in desperate need for some baby snuggles. It was the first time in 8 weeks I was away from her long enough to really miss her, but knowing she was in such good hands made it much easier. And it made the snuggles even sweeter.

In between work, we played. Our days were filled with familiar faces, family and friends alike. The company that I miss living in Connecticut was all around us. The comfort.

The best part of the weekend was coming home to Sean. We missed him so much, and he got the best snuggles ever when we walked in the door. Loki was not impressed by our homecoming, since he'd had lots of attention and got to sleep in our bed. But it's all good. And hopefully these weekends away will be a thing of the past soon, and we can say "Hey, I'm going for a quick visit to my mom's." We know where we belong. We just need to get there. 

November 2, 2012

You Are Enough

I had so many grand ideas of things to accomplish during my maternity leave, which I am now 6 weeks into. I wanted to:
  • Give our apartment a good, thorough cleaning, complete with a trip to Goodwill.
  • Bake more. 
  • Crochet more. 
  • Sew more.
  • Cook yummy, healthy meals. Try new recipes!
  • Go on a walk every single day with Lily. 
  • Take tons and tons of pictures of everything we do together, write and blog about it all a couple times a week, finished off with a sprinkle of glitter and rainbows.
My maternity leave has looked a lot more like:
  • Sit on the couch and breastfeed every other hour.
  • Change lots of poopy diapers, before and after each feeding. 
  • Start crocheting a market bag. Put it down halfway done and forget about it. 
  • Watch lots of morning talk shows (Kelly and Michael, Today, Anderson Live and The Chew are on my lineup).
  • Baby snuggles. 
  • Watch reality tv. 
  • Watch Parenthood (so good!) and a lot more tv (while snuggling and/or feeding baby).
  • Vacuum living room and pat self on back for doing something other than watch tv.
  • Take 800 pictures of Lily on my iPhone. Share half on Facebook and Instagram. 

Go ahead, you can laugh. The reality is, I know that I set myself up with expectations of how I want things to go. I set the bar high. And a lot of the time, I find myself reaching but coming up short. I learned fast that it's not about my grand plans. It's about spending time with Lily, feeding her, snuggling her, and soaking up every minute I have with her. The dishes can wait. The crocheting can get worked on some other time. I can't question if I should be more productive with my time. I can't look back on the day and say "Oh, I really should have put her down for that nap so I could clean up the kitchen."

I may not be "Supermom", but I believe that what I am doing is enough.

I saw this on Momastery's Facebook page this morning, and it couldn't have come at a better time.

Let's all remind ourselves of this daily, shall we? Let's give ourselves a break. At the end of the day, what matters is the time we spend with those we love, and nothing more. You ARE enough.